Plugspreading is an abomination and it must end today


Mark Serrels/CNET

You’re on the train. It’s a busy train. You’ve had a long day. Maybe it was raining. Maybe you did a hard shift and you’ve been on your feet all day. Maybe you’re at the end of your tether.

But you’re on this train and you need a seat. You would straight up race a pregnant woman on crutches for a seat on this train. Thankfully you don’t need to. There’s an empty seat. YES.

But no.

A man, a human man as he lives and breathes, has put his bag, his stupid goddamn bag on the seat. He thinks his bag is more important than your buttcheeks. Than your tired legs. He is undermining your right to rest those legs, to plank those weary buttcheeks on a seat. This train is busy. He is a bad person. He doesn’t care.

This is a metaphor.

In this metaphor the terrible man-person is a tech company. The bag is their terrible plug. A plug that is not content with taking up one slot on your powerboard, but needs two. Not for power, oh no. It just wants the space to… christ, I don’t know. Mess with your day? Piss you off? Make your life worse? Stop you from plugging an extra device into your powerboard for no goddamn reason.

Jesus wept.

I call this phenomenon “plugspreading” and it’s an abomination.

What is this? Why. There’s no need for this. No need at all. This is senseless carnage. This is you, on a train, putting your bag on a seat. This is you, rolling up to a busy car park at the shopping centre and taking up two car spaces. This is bad behaviour. This is a problem. That second socket was innocent man, it was collateral damage. He did nothing to deserve this. You ruined its life, starved that socket of its purpose, its reason for existing.

You are a monster.

Plugspreading is everywhere. It’s a disease.

Samsung. Why?



Mark Serrels/CNET

Nintendo. Why?



Mark Serrels/CNET

Apple, this is almost as bad. What if my plug socket was really close to the ground? 



Why why why why why why why why?

Sure, the plug needs to convert AC mains power into DC power that your gadget can use, and that converter needs to be a little bulky, but there has to be a better way. Surely.

Is this a power play? Am I supposed to be impressed? Are you trying to make it difficult for me to use other products? Is this jealousy?

Just tell me. What is the reason?

The standard you walk past is the standard you accept. End plugspreading. Today.

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